sometimes you wouldn't trade anything

I was sitting down to eat dinner when a friend called and said she was on her way out to see me. I never get visitors, I usually go into town to play cuz I'm clear out here where the tumbleweeds roam free... No, not really, but it's weird. There seems to be an invisible barrier when you move out of St. George proper into the great yonder, it involves much planning to breach.

So I knew something was on her mind to make the journey and as we talked I didn't like what I was hearing. I don't like when my friends are unhappy. Listening to her I realized her situation is a lot like mine was at the end of last year. Faced with decisions about whether to keep living a life where you know you'll always have to make excuses for why things aren't the way you dreamed they would be... dangit! I feel for her and it's made me sad because I don't like seeing her in such a difficult place.

She talked about how she has always been a strong person but because she started making exceptions for the actions her husband (then boyfriend) was making, it slowly cut her down and made her weak when it came to standing up for how she knew she should be treated and what she would tolerate from any guy.

Like my silly story, there were lots of warning signs as they dated but it is so easy to excuse those things away and make everything seem right when you really want it to be. Now that she is facing the problem head on and making big decisions on whether or not her marriage is salvageable she said she feels the confidence she forgot about coming back and she was so adamant when she said she won't put up with the state of things, I have complete faith in her that she'll do what is best for her.

As she talked about how good it felt to find that confidence again I realized confidence is exactly what I couldn't describe that has been so dominant as of late. I catch it all the time, I've just blamed it on the happiness my new found freedom has brought me. I explained it to a friend recently that everything seems more vibrant, as cheezy cinimatic as that sounds, it is SO true. I'm enjoying the things I used to enjoy, I feel like I'm more me than I've ever been (I know, who was I before?) and it is that stinkin confidence she talked about! I don't know why it took hearing her say what she did to realize this was the secret ingredient in my life, but it did.

So yeah, I guess it is always about me. My friend is going through a really rough patch and I'm happy to have an 'ah ha!' moment. Lame friend I am.

But really, I'm not worried about her. She'll figure this out. She's one of the greatest people I know and so maybe she made a mistake? I'm not the one to say, but I know she isn't going to let it stay that way if she did.

Why did I pick these images? The shirt made Jana and I laugh the other day at Walmart and it fits now in this story. We both should have done exactly that with our old boyfriends. And the funny dog? Signe chucked this at me today and I thought it was fantastic. It's Lofey (or the new Wii spelling: Loafii) gum for sure. I should only chew this gum from now on. She wouldn't share. I'll have to go to Balboa Island if I want cool dog fun gum.