in good hands

not to sound like an Allstate commercial, but I do believe there is something to the idea of getting back to basics. This isn't a new concept and I'm certainly not taking advice from the former president of Jack Bauer's universe merely because he tells me I'm 'in good hands'. The statement just rings true to me. {And can you blame me if I did listen to that man? It's gotta be the voice.}
Maybe it has something to do with being removed, or really, completely disconnected, from the basic things I appreciate and love. I knew it would all still be here, so I didn't miss it at all. I completely put it behind me. Any kind of thought that would crop up out there coming from the direction of home was easy to put aside because what could I possibly do from there about missing anything? Nothing.
So, being reunited with 'home life' again and feeling overwhelmed by how familiar everything is while at the same time being a foreigner in my own regular day to day life is a pretty cool trip if you ask me. I recommend it to anyone to step outside your norm and take a good look at what you hold dear.
Like the true bug lover that I am, I have been observing from a introspective vantage point how everything has slowly come into focus around me. What really touches me, what am I doing with my life?
So as you can expect, and certainly saw coming a mile away with all my foreshadowing is: Experiencing everything that is familiar again has brought a new appreciation to, well, the basics.
I like the chores of life. Running around town, sending in resumes by the bushel. Wondering what kind of work I'll find and where it'll take me from here. I liked having the short term responsibility while the fam was at the lake of turning on the sprinkler for the garden. And the feeling of warm cement on my bare feet. I liked having pizza with the family tonight and wandering over to Jackie's house with a feeble made up excuse of why I needed to be there only to hold the measuring tape for Jeff while he works on a project and hanging out with Jackie in the drive way while she spot cleaned the upholstery in her car.
I knew getting away would be good for putting things in perspective, but what the new perspective would be - I hadn't a clue. I knew it'd be interesting and that is why I wanted it. Things were getting stale. The fear was that I wouldn't know how to curb the wild adventure streak once I got back and had to get back to responsible living once again.
I think that perspective I am always after is an always changing thing. Ever the layering of wishes/experiences/heartache/achievements in the way unfolding life does things with all of it's unforeseen messiness and perfectly falling pieces that create our stories while we love/worry/laugh our way through the day to day-ness. {Picture the music montage at the end of a tv show episode and this is what I'm conjuring up in my head to fit what I'm trying to describe. Put it to music with some soul and beat to it and you've got it.}
I was breathing in adventure while out to sea, now it feels like I'm exhaling an energized and renewed love for the simple pleasures - the basics of life.
Who knows, maybe I should think about switching to Allstate, it seems I've really taken to their ad campaign. Ever the sucker for good consumerism.

comparisons

comparisons are pretty easy to make. I don't necessarily like to compare many things in life, it can be hazardous. Somethings are just different, and should be left that way. Neither better or worse, just not the same. Sometimes the differences are so apparent, I can't help but poke at them.

For instance, last Sunday I was in Panama City taking in every last detail of a chapter coming to an end; enjoying time with friends and eating good food. Today, I found myself at the Awesome's making apricot nectar and being fed tuna melt on toast like I never left.

Last week I was wondering if I would enjoy silence as much as I thought I would.
This week I have found that silence is every bit as fantastic as I remember.


The jungle is gorgeous and I like the lushness and the way everything felt exotic, even the most mundane thing.



















The desert has a harsh beauty to it that is home deep within me that lets me know I'll be a desert rat no matter where I go. Nowhere else on earth {that I have found yet} has the same effect on me.

10 k + molten lava love

I wanted to run a race sometime this year. I just wasn't really anticipating it being yesterday. I guess running up and down those hot, dirty ramps could be considered training... I did. I haven't seen the official times yet {not posted online yet} but whatever it was, I'm just fine with it as a number to beat next time. Mesquite, NV in November? Sounds good to me.



a little celebratory goodness. If there is a better desert {of the chocolate cake variety - we're not talking all time, there are just too many options} I have yet to find it.

sliver of the theater rm

Lucy is such a babe. Jackie called as I was making a zucchini casserole and asked why I wasn't sitting on Main Street with her right that minute watching the parade. I didn't have a good answer for her, so off I went to enjoy some hometown flavor. It was a pleasant summer evening, walking down the street, saying hello to old friends and neighbors. Sitting with Jackie at a parade is an event, she is a candy hording extraordinaire.

a little slice of what has been going on in the Theater Room, or aka, my room for the next x amount of time. {Frybaby, remember when we joked I'd only be here a year?}
I chose the wild Golden Cricket {professionally painted by PBPB, thnx guys!} color for the walls because of the lack of natural light in the basement and the need to create a feeling of warmth. Though, after taking the roller shade off today I was surprised by how much afternoon light could sneak in, given the chance. When the room is being used in the way it was intended and the idea is to create a fun place for chilling, the warm wall color will be a great jumping off place to create a pallet that matches the fun family who graciously lets me be a gnome in their basement. I never thought I'd EVER chose a yellow of any kind, it is a risky move, but this particular yellow has a lot of great gray and even a bit of green undertones and has yet to make me feel anxious or upset. {Something a bad yellow could easily do.} I can't wait to do curtains/accessories next. I'm thinking plush, warm fabrics with lots of texture and vibrant pattern without being loud or overbearing. Don't think it can be pulled done? Just wait for the updates! {but don't hold your breath, they won't come until I become gainfully employed again}
WOW, that was a lot to say about color, still with me?

bigger things soon enough

I am here. Home. {Home?} The title seems to fit alright, but I also feel like a stranger in my own skin. I woke up this morning disoriented and confused in the red room at Grandma's house and immediately went back to bed when I couldn't decide what to do with myself. I feel like I should be jumping right into things but I also feel like I need a minute to catch my breath.
I don't have answers to questions like what am I going to do now? What about a job? When does school start? What would I like to do with the day? What would I like to eat? ? ? I don't know. I just don't know.

so instead of facing the bigger of those questions, my parents and I went and bummed around Park City for the afternoon.

I'll tackle the bigger things soon enough.

For now, it just feels good to be with my parents, breathing in the fresh mountain air, trying my hand at beating gma at cards and getting rid of the monster that I was passing off as the hair on my head. {Jackie - my head thanks you for parting it with the shaggy beast}




something to be noted: I posted this entire post in the same amount of time it would have taken me to upload just ONE picture with the internet on the ship!!

when everything went pink

A sampling of the variety of vehicles in the parking lot outside the ballpark earlier this week after a crowd showed up to watch the game.

This may very will be my last entry from the great blue sea. We arrive in Panama City tomorrow morning and I hope to be off soaking in every last bit of this experience I can since I'm still nowhere near ready to put it all behind me. Maybe a couple days on shore eating good food and taking in the sites will help it feel more final?

I woke up early this morning to see the sun come up and was happy to find a beautiful lightening storm to the northwest and a beautiful peachy orange start to a sunrise that never quite reached full glory before the stormy skies overtook it. As I was leaning on the railing along the bridge wing looking east enjoying the breeze and the way the water was breaking against the ship when everything went pink, the crane overhead sparked and my hair shot straight up. I don't know how close I got to becoming a breakfast accoutrement {toast} but it sure was a very exciting way to start my day!

A few new things to add to the ever growing list of cool things done on the ship:

I saw glowing plankton in the wake of the ship a couple nights ago. It looks like giant fireflies under water.

I helped crack over 1000 eggs last night into a giant metal bowl for breakfast this morning.

We ran 12 laps on the ramps. A new record for me. {4+ miles, it isn't really about the length but more the fact that it is incredibly hot and downhill usually kills my knees that makes this new record especially promising. Maybe the St. George half marathon can become a goal once again?}

I was visiting my friend Sean on the bridge, but this isn't the new part.
We've been decorating his house {in our imaginations of course, since it is in VA and we are here} We talk colors and art, this and that really, while he steers the ship.

He had to go downstairs to grab something for Second Mate so S.M. told me to watch the helm for Sean. Just like that, and I'm the only one standing there with the guys in the room behind me studying the course using the sexton {cool devise but not very accurate}.

There is a digital reading of the course we are on that hangs down in front of the helm. We were aiming for 120 so I could let it go anywhere between 118 and 122 but ideally it should stay right around 120. Easy enough right? Turn the wheel 5 degrees in either direction to correct the course before returning to 'mid ship' and let the numbers ease up or down accordingly. But there is a certain finesse to this steering of a large ship thing. Work it too hard and you are just wasting your energy trying to fight something fluid that will never be perfectly straight. And if you don't pay attention, soon you are incredibly off course. There is a moral to that story; I'll let you draw your own conclusions.

I drove for about an hour before I'd felt I'd had my share of being the second most important person on the ship. {in Sean's words, not mine}

I'm sad this is my last post from the Comfort. I hoped I'd be more ready to come home, but feel even less ready as the minutes wind down.

{side note: this doesn't mean I'm not excited to see you all soon, because I am!!}

final day in Nicaragua

Yesterday was our last operational day for the mission. I spent the day on shore on a COMREL project. I hadn't been to shore since we got to Nicaragua a week and a half ago because the ceremonies were all combined into one mega media blitz on board. So it was extra fantastic to get off The Comfort and see the country.
We had an hour and a half drive so I got to see plenty of country side and all the random cool things about this place like plentiful free roaming horses on the side of the road like the stray dogs, the actively smoking volcano and gorgeous, never ending fields of soft yellow flowering bushes.


The kids were the absolute best part of my day. The original plan for the COMREL was for our group to clean up the ball field that was going to be used as an HLZ {helo landing zone} so we could play softball with the Ambassador and a local team. Only it wasn't used as a landing zone so instead of cleaning we played with the kids who came from who knows where almost as soon as we showed up. I saw a couple of them pop up on the outfield fence as we were eating lunch. By the time we finished there was a handful of them ready to hang out until we left after the local team beat our socks off.

I sat down along a wall with one little guy who flinched if anyone got near him. I gave him pulled up weeds {true sign of friendship right?} and took a picture of his friend who walked by to show him to see if he would smile. He didn't just yet, but soon all the kids wanted their pictures taken so they could see the image on the screen. Except one little guy, who was even more shy than this first lil amigo.

It became a game and soon all the other kids were conspiring against him with me to get him to let his photo be taken. {He is the toothless angel above. The one in front is the first friend who seemed to carry a heavy weight on his little shoulders.}

I have loads of pictures of beautiful faces, but the feet were touching me heart this morning as I sorted through my pictures.

We stopped at an engineering site the Seabees have been working on and played around for awhile. I like traveling with Chaps because we aren't rushed or on a tight agenda. It was great to run around and play soccer with the kids. One of my teammates name was Macaraina {like the popular dance song from the 90's} so whenever he'd score I'd call out his name with the first couple moves to the dance and they'd all laugh.

Would the day be complete without local food? I don't know, but I'd rather not find out! This little bundle of heaven was corn in a mushed up gritty form that was nothing less than delightful. Sweet and served hot from a basket on top of a girl's head. She was selling them for something like 10 cents each. I bought as many as my spare change would stretch.

Chaps brought stickers with him and was mobbed by the kids who wanted as many stickers as possible stuck all over their bodies.

I don't like the idea of saying goodbye to my ship mates. Bobby is one of those people who I'll miss. Long ago he stopped helping me in and out of the boats, calling me 'too salty' to need assistance. He has been on back to back deployments for 2 years and is looking forward to his 6 weeks off when he gets home so he can jump on his hog and camp his way through the parks. We've had fun shooting the breeze and working along side each other in Bozn's locker - him on his Adirondack chairs he makes out of spare wood, and me on my painting projects that keep my creative demons satisfied.
The RHIB {rigid hull inflatable boat} ride back to the ship yesterday afternoon was the perfect ending to this mission for me. There are still days to go before we get to Panama, but yesterday ended the actual humanitarian mission. It was choppy and I rode up front where no one rides because there is a chance of bouncing right out. Best seat available!

9 days to go

I love the ocean. I never get tired of looking at it. When I took this picture the water was going in every direction with a million different types of movement. It is never the same. It wasn't even the time of day or type of day I particularly like to be outside. The white ship with all the reflective water and bright sun makes mid day hard to stand outside but we were just underway and it was nice to feel the breeze and watch El Sal recede in the distance and watch the butterflies. It surprises me how many come out so far from land. You'd think butterflies wouldn't stray very far from flowers, or land for that matter.



I had high hopes that I would morph wolverine style into something stronger than myself out here. Not unlike a high bred version of the old me. Some humanitarian wonder child. But I'm still just me, sans metallic skeletal additions, and while I know this was an excellent chance to serve and in so doing, grow, I don't feel any huge difference like I was hoping for. I do feel like I can come home with a stronger appreciation for human frailty and the inner battles worth fighting to be a better person, even if I don't get a nice tidy boxed up conclusions at the end of my self appointed 'learning experience'.

I guess that is one of the joys about life never being easily summed up.



RP3 Strother, Margarette and me



the tres amigitos. {the 3 little friends if I got that right} me {LDS Charities}, Tracy {Project Hope} and Rowan {UCSD}. The 3 captains of the ship call themselves the tres amigos. Rowan, Tracy and I {the 3 NGO Leads on board} call ourselves the 3 little friends. We have had fun entertaining each other at all the ceremonies and dignitary functions we've attended together. Our last scheduled dinner was a couple nights ago and I was looking forward to one last shindig for us to go to together. It was canceled because the captains and the DV's were all still stuck on shore due to the afternoon storms. Nicaragua has been a difficult country for movements all around. So we had dinner together anyway with the other foreign nationals and it was nice having the regular crowd together without the formality of an actual event. The main topic of conversation was the different plans for when we all go home. A nice thought was that we'll be home in time for the last part of summer, just in time for fall.

I'm looking forward to finding silence. I haven't heard {or not heard} it since I got here. When I think it is quiet I can still identify creaking/banging/whooshing air somewhere near by.

seventh country - Nicaragua

Nicaragua is our final country for the mission, with a liberty port next week back in Panama before flying home. The days are numbered for my time out at sea. This thought bothers/thrills me equally, with the balance shifting from side to side depending on what I think about. Getting away from my 72 roommates? Thrilled. Wondering if I'll forget how awesome it is to live on the USNS Comfort? Bothered.

I want the 13 days to feel like forever and be over already so I'll have some reassurance that when I get back I'll still have this unbelievable memory tucked away to pull out sometimes and remember. How is that for contradiction? I wouldn't be me without conflicting thoughts to mull over.



Sunday evening after dinner, I found a spot along the port side and settled in to watch the weather change. It was one of those beautiful moments where everything felt amber colored. Good tunes, fantastic book {Love Walked In}, helo ops to keeps things interesting, and a great show put on by the sunset/storm duo.

We have had some amazing weather the last few days with extremely high seas, lightening storms, strong winds {40+ mph} lots of rain, and everything in between.

..from the oceans, white with foam...

Picture taken from the Panama Canal transit

Celebrations for Independence Day here weren't as revved up as you might think they would be on a US Navy vessel. {Ice cream social, an impromptu concert by the Air Force brass quintet and darts with Big Rix was the extent of the celebrations for me.}

I did have dinner with the Surgeon General, Rear Admiral Galson. As much as we {The Tres NGO Amigos} take pleasure in whining about the amount of DV functions we are voluntold to attend, I enjoy the chance to eat a civilized dinner without having to yell to be heard or try to pick things from the line that look edible.

Before yesterday I didn't know what else the SG did other than warn people of the dangers of smoking. But now I know 'The Surgeon General serves as America's chief health educator by providing Americans the best scientific information available on how to improve their health and reduce the risk of illness and injury.' {Taken from the USPHS website for the cat's curiosity - I like to read up on our guests.}

Typically at these functions I consider my role, as well as anyone else not seated at the official table, vital in creating 'back ground ambiance'. CAPT Ware shook things up a little last night when he finished the trading plaques/coins/hats ceremony with the SG and scanned the room while saying he would like to point out the different partnering nations and NGO's present. I knew he was looking for me because he said, 'Where is Gena?' {That's me btw, in case you were wondering.}

When he spotted me and said, "Introduce yourself Gena." I took this as one of many opportunities to set the name thing straight and said, "Good evening sir, Jenna Rix, LDS Charities," with a subtle emphasis on my first name. And to that CAPT Ware said, "Thank you Gena" and went on to the next NGO lead, but not without soliciting a few quiet chuckles from the group.

He is known {and loved} for his name slaughtering ways. And now he isn't the only one calling me Gena, tho he is still the only one who believes it should be the proper pronunciation of my name. The Bachelor {yes, celebrity abounds on board the Comfort} came up to me after and joked that he has been Alec instead of Andy to CAPT Ware. Tracy, Project Hope's Team Lead has decided Gena finishes off the alter ego I have created at our various DV events, 'Gena, LDS Ninja' who can be a little feisty at times.

I'm not the least bit concerned he can't remember my name and consider it part of the honor of being in league with such cool people. Banter is one of my favorite forms of communication.



When I think of patriotism I think of strong leadership, fallen heroes, and soldiers right in the mix of the ugliness of war. Both Grandpa's and Ben have been the faces for the defenders of freedom in my mind's eye. Added to that, I now have a different appreciation for those serving in every capacity, and the sacrifices they make as they do their part. I'll most likely think of them for years to come as I'm enjoying the comforts of home like summer BBQ's and fireworks.

"While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that's free,
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer."

SEVEN!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DILLON!!!
I can't imagine a better way to celebrate SEVEN than in California with cool cousins, grandparents and your family!
And of course the fact that you are going to boring places like Disneyland and the pool have very little to do with how much fun you are having right? Riiight. :) Ride all the rides twice, once for you, once for me!
I love you Dillon!